Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

In honour of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut

Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white hair.