Forget kids, teachers say the darnedest things. We have compiled a list from real life lines that high school students have heard their teachers say. Being the sophisticated people we are, we gave the context of the situation – which only makes it even more hysterical. It seems biology teachers say allot of weird things.
Some of these require a bit of thought to see the irony in what is being said.
| Subject | Saying | Reason |
| Biology Teacher | “I’m not absolutely perfect, and I’m tired of you thinking I am!” | The class was asking questions about the work we were doing |
| “It doesn’t make a Vas Deference but the answer is Vas Deference” | Marking work, Vas Deference was the answer | |
| “Do you have a goldfish? Who has a goldfish? You must get a goldfish.” | Random | |
| “When I say close your eyes, it means keep quiet.” | Telling people not to talk | |
| “Please don’t do that or I will stand on you!” | Doesn’t want back-chat | |
| “I’m going to tell your father, and then I’m going to pinch you and push you and punch you! Would you like that?” | To a student whose father is on the governing body! | |
| “Ah excuse me, but don’t shush me!” | Pupil shushes teacher, she doesn’t know who it was! | |
| “You can plug in your music and listen to it, you can try, but I’ll take it away from you” | Caught somebody listening to music in class | |
| “You can’t fit an elephant in a uno!” | Reason for why you can’t do so many things at once. | |
| “Oh goody boo!” | Talking about exams | |
| “Chris what was your exam mark?”
“83% mam.” “Yes I Know.” |
Talking about exams | |
| “Don’t miss this Elvis!” | Trying to get a pupil’s attention | |
| “Yes, I don’t like Michael Jackson.” | Asked about her views on M.J’s trial | |
| “Teachers are predictable.” | Talking about exams | |
| “A teacher is not responsible for educating learners with all knowledge” | Class not working, trying to encourage them to work by themselves | |
| “Small cells not large ones.” | Explaining cells | |
| “Your hands are up, I don’t understand.” | People need to ask questions | |
| “You may not leave the classroom with my permission.” | People want to leave | |
| “Put your hand down I don’t like that.” | People need to ask questions | |
| “You have four minutes detention and I’ll give you double detention if you carry on talking” | People are talking in class | |
| “Look at me cause it’s a bit hard this.” | People are sitting with their backs towards her | |
| Afrikaans Teacher | “I do not keep quite when I’m talking” | Shouting at class. Meant to say, “Keep quite I am talking!” |
| Maths Teacher | “If life was fair, I would have been born a man!” | Whenever anybody would say that something’s not fair. |
| Science Teacher | “Mr Stocks is begging for extra English lessons.” | Shouting at the class to be quite. Mr Stocks was an English teacher. |
| Afrikaans Teacher | “Don’t ask me any questions because I won’t answer them!” | Tired of people asking her questions! |
| English Class Student | “Not after school mam, I need to have a sleep” | Excuse about a forum meeting practice |
| English Teacher | “You are being naughty I feel like hitting you” | Getting Frustrated |
