“Well this day was a total waste of make-up”

“Well, aren’t we a ray of sunshine?”

“Don’t bother me; I’m living happily ever after.”

“I started out with nothing still have most of it left”

“I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me”

“YOU!!… off my planet!!!”

“Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose”

“Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of Self-control”

“Errors have been made. Others will be blamed”

“I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.”

“Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.”

“Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed”

“Do they ever shut up on your planet?”

“Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet”

“Back off!! You’re standing in my aura.”

“Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.”

“I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.”

“Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it.”

“Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.”

“Wait…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality”

“Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done.”

“Earth is full. Go home.”

“Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?”

“I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.”

“You are depriving some village of an idiot.”