Posts Tagged ‘car’

You are proudly South African when…

Monday, July 21st, 2008

SA FlagYou produce a R100 note instead of your drivers licence when stopped by a traffic officer.

You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.

You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.

You can count the national soccer team’s scores with no fingers.

To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750

Hijacking cars is a profession.

You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light

The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car.

More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.

People have the most wonderful names:

  • Christmas
  • Goodwill
  • Pretty
  • Wednesday
  • Blessing
  • Brilliant
  • Gift
  • Given

Now now can mean anything from a minute to a month!

You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.

Travelling at 120 km/h you’re the slowest vehicle on the highway.

You’re genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.

The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.

You paint your cars registration on the roof.

Half your mail is guaranteed to reach its destination.

You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.

You dial a toll free number and nobody answers.

You have to prove that you don’t need a loan to get one.

Prisoners go on strike.

Stormbreaker

Friday, July 11th, 2008

StormbreakerWhen Alex’s uncle dies in a car crash Alex immediately knows that something is wrong, Alex had lived with his uncle all his life, 14 years, and he knew that he was extremely careful. He never went anywhere without his seat belt on.

So after a strange car is seen speeding away from their house after his funeral he decides to have a look at the car itself. What he found was, was the car had not been destroyed in a crash, it had been shot at, there were bullet holes through the door and blood on the seat. When Alex is taken to the “bank” where Ian worked he did a little looking around of his own, and was caught, shot at and drugged.
When he came to he was in Whales, Allen Blunt and Mrs Jones, told him that his uncle worked for them, MI6, and was not a banker as he lead everyone to believe. they asked Alex, well they blackmailed him, to work for them when he agreed he was taken to the SAS training camp where he received a less then warm welcome from the men he was to train with, after 2 weeks it was time to leave, but not before saving the career of Wolf, his biggest adversary at the Camp.

He was introduced to Smithers, the MI6 scientist, and was given gadgets to help him on his way, what spy is complete without gadgets?

His mission was to investigate Herod Sayles, a multi-millionaire, is giving away thousands of his newest computers, Stormbreaker, to the children of London’s schools. Ian Rider was investigating the man and those machines when he was killed. MI6 was very suspicious of Sayles but with the death of Ian it just confirmed it, but they had nothing concrete so they sent in alex who found clues left by Ian and completed his mission. He encountered psycho villains, armed guards, a giant jellyfish that was only interested in eating him, and to finish everything: The very assassin who killed his uncle, who told him to leave MI6 forever and go back to school, that spy work was not for him.

Stormbreaker is the first novel in the Alex rider series by Anthony Horowitz and is followed by Point Blank, Skeleton Key, Eagle Strike, Scorpia, Ark Angel and Snakehead.

James Carkeek

I wanted a car, not a Bible!

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

BibleA young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him.

He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man’s name embossed in gold. Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said,” With all your money you give me a Bible?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. But before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father’s important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago.

With Tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11, “And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven, give to those who ask Him?”

As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible.

It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words…

PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God’s blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?