Posts Tagged ‘fish’

Doctor, Doctor

Saturday, January 31st, 2009

DoctorA man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says: “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers: “Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”
The doctor replies,
“You’re not drinking enough water.”
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups.
The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.
“What the heck did you do that for!?!” the man screams.
“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore do you?”
The man says, “No I don’t, you IDIOT… But my wife out in the car still does!”

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil until I get there

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m a bell? Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu! Didn’t I see you yesterday?

Sea Monsters 3D

Friday, September 5th, 2008

Review

We have had 3D movies for years. You sit down in the cinema, put on those horrible multi coloured cardboard glasses and come out with a headache and sore eyes. What is so different about the ‘special’ 3D movie houses? Everything!

In South Africa Ster-Kinekor has launched 3D movie houses in our three major provinces and as been screening movies from Hannah Montana’s concert to the more recent Journey to the centre of the earth. It has taken me this long to get into a 3D movie house and I was not disappointed.

Instead of the usual cardboard glasses you get plastic glasses which look like some really cheap sunglasses. They do not however work as sunglasses, as the packaging so cleverly points out, so don’t get too excited. The movie house is specially designed for 3D movies. It has a different screen and different projector. In fact there is no film reel, it’s all digital.

But what you really want to know is if it’s as good as they claim. The picture quality is amazing; there is no need for pointless mucking about with 3D effects. It actually feels like you are in the movie. It feels as if the people are standing with you and that things are flying out at you.

We were treated to the latest 3D movie being released on the 12th of September, Sea Monsters. The cinematography was stunning. When the sea monsters jump out of the water it’s breathtaking. It feels real, shots of simple sunsets come alive and when looking into the distance it seems as if somebody cut a hole in the wall and you have a crystal clear image of the outside world. In one scene a wall is blown up and brick and debris fly right out and past you.

But it isn’t all roses and butterflies for Sea Monsters. In fact, the only reason you should see it is because it’s in 3D. The National Geographic feature is, as usual, full of complete nonsense. They use their circular reasoning to date bones and promote the usual evolution theories. If that doesn’t bother you, then this movie is worth seeing. Don’t expect a heart worming story; expect a science lesson – but one that will knock your socks off.

Teachers – this movie is for you. Take your kids in and watch them reach out for the life like creatures and giggle with excitement as fish swim all around them. This movie, if nothing else, is the perfect school fieldtrip.