Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Fat Free Beaches

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011

We are aware that some laptops seem to have issues with the sound in the video. Please plug in earphones or watch the video on a PC/Phone if this problem occurs.

Last year, my friend Msizi and I were walking along the beach discussing the influx of overweight people around us. We were joking around about discriminating against them and not allowing them on the beach, and that’s when the name popped out, ‘Fat Free Beaches.’ When I got home it got me thinking. We’re so obsessed with being thin, or fit. In the past, it was considered beautiful to be overweight. Thanks to increased health awareness we know its better not to be, but society has taken it too far with young guys and girls now obsessed with being fit or thin. Guys are taking all sorts of weird and wonderful substances to build muscles whilst girls aren’t eating in the hope of keeping off the pounds. At the same time being fat is still bad for you, but we as people can’t seem to find balance.

Comedy is one of the greatest ways to tackle issues from all sides, to show people just how ridiculous we are without preaching to them. Instead it highlights issues by making people laugh. That is exactly the purpose of this video. The video throws in political references and balances things out with Jock free beaches for maximum discrimination.

Byron Langley is a friend of mine from youth who got a kick start to his acting career in Spud: The Movie. We had been talking about doing a Srizzil video since December last year, in fact I had written the Fat Free Beaches Script with him in mind, but it took us five months to finally get together and film it.

Byron brought his high school friend Willem Nieman, a comedy legend of Glenwood High’s stage, to add some spice to the video. Throw in some help from dynamite Mandy Rothquel and Msizi Hadebe and you have a winning team. Msizi took the honours of the voice over and, I’m sure you’ll agree, did a fantastic job getting overexcited about such a horrible product.

Special thanks to Gary Friedman and Susan Foster for allowing us to use their dog Max. It’s a beautiful thing that complete strangers can be so willing to help out. You can see Max chasing Willem (Jeff 2) in the background of one of the shots. Max is official Fat Free Beaches security.

Watch all the bloopers on Srizzil Extra:

Tags: abs, Apartheid, beach, behind the scenes, belly, Berlin Wall, body, Byron Langley, dog, exercise, fat, Fat free beaches, fitness, flab, free, funny, Gary Friedman, health, hot, Jock free beaches, Mandy Rothquel, Marc Williams, Max, Msizi Hadebe, muscle, ocean, oh my sack, sand, secluded, security, sexy, six pack, South Africa, speedo, summer, Susan Foster, teeny weeny polka dot bikini, tight shorts, toned, training, waves, weight, Willem Nieman, workout, Zimbabwe
Posted in Blog, Comedy, Main Channel, Video | 2 Comments »

Fishing for Kids

Saturday, April 23rd, 2011

I was dragged through some arty shops today, and strangely found myself enjoying it. Any excuse to stay away from the studying has become the oasis to my desert. In one of these shops I stumbled upon a collection of cards by Redback Cards and WulffmorgentHaler. They are brilliantly funny, so much so that I just had to buy one. Below is the one I bought. You can visit their website here.

Tags: art, cards, fishing, funny, Kids, redback, shopping, wulffmorgenthaler
Posted in Blog, Jokes, Kids | No Comments »

10 Reasons you’re not being followed

Monday, October 4th, 2010

Before anybody gets smart, I’m referring to the ever popular social networking website Twitter, a place where a giant popularity contest is underway for the most followers.

Here are 10 reasons people aren’t following you on Twitter, or the ten reasons I unfollow people on twitter.

1. You are constantly tweeting about the mundane including the weather, your hatred of life, or that you spilt coffee on yourself.

2. You RT every idiotic person you follow, adding in a LOL or, even worse, LMFAO.

3. You can’t spell or create grammatically correct sentences.

4. You tweet in relays of 20, filling up your follower’s timeline with garbage.

5. You never tweet at all.

6. You consistently tweet every famous person you follow, filling up everybody else’s entire twitter stream.

Beliebers are addicted to doing this, with tweets like, “@JustinBieber OMB, you’re sooooo hot. Can I be your One Less Lonely Girl?” I’ll be the first to admit Justin Bieber is a catch, that’s why most of us guys are ridiculously jealous of him. If Justin Bieber is the only reason you’re on Twitter, that’s fine, but don’t expect non Bieber fanatics to follow you.

7. You ignore followers who send you @replies.

I understand that many @replies don’t need to be answered or the person is saying something not worth answering, but if people are making decent comments or asking good questions REPLY! This doesn’t mean you should have a ten page long conversation, but at least one reply every now and again to show you care would be nice. If you only have 100 followers, don’t act like you don’t see the one lonely @reply. When you have five million, we’ll talk again.

8. You write an essay over fifteen tweets.

That’s the beauty of twitter. It’s short and to the point. If you want to write something that won’t fit in a 140 character tweet get a blog and tweet a link to your ramblings.

9. You consistently ask what a trending topic means.

There are entire websites dedicated to giving you the answer to this. Even better is browsing through the public tweets and working it out for yourself.

10. You’re so desperate for more followers you read this list.

Stop trying to get followers. If you’re good they’ll come. At least, that’s what people keep telling me. My tweets are life changing and I have less followers than most of the girls tweeting about their teachers wonky eye.

Follow me. Please… 0_o

Marc Williams

Tags: 140, @replies, charactor, essay, follow, funny, ignore, Justin Bieber, life, LMFAO, LOL, Marc Williams, spell, trending, tweet, twitter, unfollow
Posted in Blog, Jokes, Lists | No Comments »

Why teachers drink

Monday, August 16th, 2010

Below are some kids that deserve medals for their brilliance. Teachers are always asking us stupid questions, sometimes they deserve stupid answers:

Tags: alcohol, american, computer, declaration of independence, drink, expand, find x, funny, Genghis Khan, hadrian, hard water, ice, joke, Mahatma Gandhi, malaria, malays, marking, Orpheus, PCI, peter, phosphorus trichloride, polar, stand-alone, system, Teachers, test, wall
Posted in Blog, Jokes, Teachers | No Comments »

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Friday, August 28th, 2009

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

THE POPE: God knows.

POLICEMAN: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I’ll know why.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

GEORGE W. BUSH (2): We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

NELSON MANDELA: Never again, will the chicken be questioned for crossing the road. This is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.

THABO MBEKI: We need to establish if really there is a connection between the chicken and the road.

MUGABE: For all of these years the road has been owned by the white farmers, the poor underprivileged chicken has waited too long for that road to be given to him and now he is crossing it in force with his fellow war veteran chickens. We intend taking over this road and giving it to the roadless chickens so that they can cross it without fear of retribution from Britain who promised money to institute road reform. We will not stop until all roadless chickens have roads to cross and the freedom to cross them.

ISAAC NEWTON: Any chicken in the universe shall always cross a road perpendicularly to the side of the road, and in an infinitely long straight line at uniform speed, unless the chicken stops due to an unbalanced reactive force in the opposite direction of the chicken’s motion.

ZANU (PF) Spokesman: The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have a single chicken in our country as the whole world knows. All the chickens were bought and consumed by the long-suffering masses at give-away prices when we sent out our comrades to enforce what our enemies are now unpatriotically and maliciously referring to as the largest closing down sale in the world.

JACOB ZUMA: I am gravely suspicious that this question is being asked with a malicious intention to trap me, send the Scorpions to raid my chicken run, haul me before the courts and charge me for sodomizing the chicken that walked across the road towards me as it was running away from an advancing light shower! Awuleth’ umshini wam’ ….!!!

Tags: CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK, DARWIN, EINSTEIN, FREUD, funny, GEORGE W. BUSH (2), Humour, ISAAC NEWTON, JACOB ZUMA, Jokes, MACHIAVELLI, MARTIN LUTHER KING JR, MUGABE, NELSON MANDELA, parody, PLATO, POLICEMAN, SADDAM HUSSEIN, Scorpions, THABO MBEKI, THE POPE, why the chicken crossed the road, ZANU (PF) Spokesman
Posted in Animals, Blog, Jokes | No Comments »