Posts Tagged ‘gay’

Churches – Blah

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Churches. Blah. The mere mention of the word brings bad thoughts to millions of people around the world. Those places that take all your money and buy the head pastors fancy BMWs, the place full off hypocrites? Let’s talk about them.

 

I’ve been to many churches in my short life, either attending them regularly or visiting them, and regardless of their motto or their amazing ideas (Grace message anyone? Jesus’ entire life was to give us grace. This is no revelation. It should be the foundation of everything we talk about) they all have at least one major flaw, people.

 

Churches are run like businesses, and they’re proud of it

 

This isn’t a business you prune, this is God’s house. Wake up. You’re spending money on fancy lights, cameras, computers, banners, flyers, and websites when people are starving. Spend the money on feeding the poor, building homes, and blessing people who are struggling.

 

Now before you get defensive and say we have to reach people, think about this. If the church was the place it should be. Where people are being healed, where you could walk in and feel the presence of God and praise God in whatever way you wanted, where people weren’t judging each other and everybody was filled with pure joy, don’t you think people would talk? You wouldn’t need one shred of advertising. People would do it for you. They’d run home and Facebook their friends, tweet their followers and phone their grandparents. People would come. I guarantee it. Before you know it, the government would be on your side because you’re helping them by just doing what God told you to do. Love people, and help those in need.

 

Now, here’s where things get a little confusing. Having those fancy things can actually be a blessing. Do you have an amazing worship team, that are actually amazing musicians but they use their talents to praise God? If you have the money, why not make a CD? Now you can sell it and have more money to spend on helping people. Not on buying more fancy things, or going to some conference.

 

Don’t waste money on ridiculously fancy cameras to supersize your pastor’s funny face so people in the back can see him sweat. Use the cameras to create videos that get people thinking and talking about God, and again you can sell them to make money to give more to people in need. The more the church gives, the more it will grow. This is biblical stuff people, not just nice ideas.

 

Churches need to stop wasting money on fancy equipment they don’t use properly and start using it on helping people. Why not give this week’s offering to the Red Cross to help Japan? Oooo, no! There’s a budget in place, this is a business. Rubbish. This is God’s church. Give and God will provide.

 

Stop judging people

 

There are some crazy church people running around telling gay people God hates them. What absolute nonsense. God hates SIN, NOT the people sinning. If gay people should be accepted anywhere it should be in the church. Don’t judge their sin. It’s between them and God. God wants to love people, that love will open people’s eyes and they won’t want to sin. Picketing and hating people will never solve anything. Welcome them into the church. Witches, crazy people, beggars, murderers, they should all be welcome in the church. Let them see God’s love, let them feel it, and let them choose it for themselves.

 

Poor church, rich pastor

Now for something that kills many people. Rich pastors, the ones that are living in luxury when people suffer. Now having a rich pastor isn’t actually a bad thing. People in the church should be rich, because they have God’s blessing over their lives. But, if the church isn’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing, if they aren’t giving with reckless abandonment and reaching the needy and helping people build strong relationships with God, then we have a problem. And when people notice, I don’t think the church is doing its job.

 

If the church could just do these things, the things it’s supposed to do, the things close to God’s heart: loving his people, blessing his people, reaching out to his people. The things we get in the way of. It would be radical. We could change the world.

 

A side note of caution

 

Just because we do these things, it doesn’t mean God can’t use us. God can use anything for his glory, and he does. If he didn’t, we wouldn’t have one growing church. Isn’t that the beauty of God? Despite our flawed understanding of him, he blesses what we do regardless, because he loves us.

 

Disagree? Have something to add? That’s what the comments are for. I love how Rob Bell put it, “God has spoken and the rest is commentary.” I may be right, I may be wrong, I may be both. We’re all in this journey learning more about our amazing creator, and teaching each other. I want to hear your thoughts. Go.

 

Stupid questions about South Africa

Monday, March 30th, 2009

South AfricaQuestions about South Africa were posted on a South African Tourism Website and were answered by the website owner.

Q: Does it ever get windy in South Africa? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking or sniffing.

Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only two thousand kilometres. Take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)

A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa? Can you send me a list of them in JHB, Cape Town, Knysna and Jeffrey’s Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into South Africa? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Hillbrow, straight after the Koala Bear races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in South Africa? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we’ll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-me-ri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Good examples of snakes as pets are mambas (both green and black), rinkhals and municipal workers.

Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.