A lawyer, a doctor, and a redneck were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the lawyer top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the lawyer was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, “Hi there…what are you doing carrying a glass of water through the desert?”
The lawyer explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that’s why he was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the doctor walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. “What are you doing?” asked the rancher again.
As before, the doctor explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that’s why he had the bread.
Finally the redneck appeared, dragging a car door through the sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, “Hey, why are you dragging that car door?”
“Well,” said the redneck, “I have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I’ll roll down the window.”
A Zimbabwean, a Nigerian, and van der Merwe’s daughter are in the same bar.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says: “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”
