A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says: “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers: “Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?”
The doctor replies,
“You’re not drinking enough water.”
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups.
The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.
“What the heck did you do that for!?!” the man screams.
“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore do you?”
The man says, “No I don’t, you IDIOT… But my wife out in the car still does!”

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil until I get there

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m a bell? Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu! Didn’t I see you yesterday?