Since the start of September, we’ve had four days where the temperature has been 30˚C and above. Quite clearly, we are moving into summer. On that note, here’s a little something to impress your friends with.

Most normal people decide what to wear by listening to the weather forecast on either the radio, or TV news channels. If you happen to be an un-normal person, you have a number of options available to you.

Firstly, you need to decide whether it’s going to rain or not. Take a look at any cows that happen to be situated on the side of the road or in your neighbor’s garden (Trust me, this happens). Now, the theory is that cows don’t like to get their bottoms wet, so, if they are sitting down, get out your raincoat and umbrella.

If your immediate vicinity is cowless, you could try looking at the grass for spider webs. The more spider webs there are, the more chance there is of rain. Thirdly (but don’t ask me how they figure this one out), scientists say that if there are dark clouds in the sky, there is a good chance it will rain. I disagree completely and prefer to use cows and spiders.

Let us take an average everyday scenario in the good suburban area of New Germany, Durban, South Africa. You get up in the morning, and need to decide what to wear (note, most guys normally wear the first thing that falls out of their cupboard). So, you take a little walk outside and observe your immediate surroundings. You notice that there are a few clouds in the sky, but since you don’t believe in that science rubbish, you discard that piece of information. You look at the grass on your lawn, and see two, maybe three spider webs. You look over your wall, and the cow across the road is standing firmly on all four legs. You therefore deduce that the best thing to wear would be your shirt and baggies. One piece of the pie is missing. What is the temperature?

Normal people use classic mercury thermometers to determine the temperature, but not you! No, you’re different. You use crickets. Crickets are those little insects that sit in the grass rubbing their legs together – known as chirping. This, most people know. What most people don’t know is that the rate a cricket chirps is directly proportional to the temperature outside. Which is, basically, geek speak for the hotter it is, the quicker they’ll chirp!

So, the formula is simple. You count how many times any single cricket chirps in 5 seconds. Then, you multiply that amount by 1.7. Finally, you add on 17.2, and you have the current temperature in degrees Celsius. So, for example, 2 chirps in 5 seconds, means the temperature is approximately 20.6˚C, and 5 chirps means its roughly 25.7˚!

Happy Spring time!!

Graham van Rensburg