Posts Tagged ‘medical’

Do you Believe in Yourself?

Monday, January 5th, 2009

Black BoardA professor stood before his class of 20 senior organic biology students, about to hand out the final exam.

“I want to say that it’s been a pleasure teaching you this semester. I know you’ve all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive a ‘B’ for the course.”

There was much rejoicing amongst the class as students got up, passed by the professor to thank him and sign out on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the professor looked out over the handful of remaining students and asked, “Any one else? This is your last chance.” One final student rose up and took the offer.

The professor closed the door and took attendance of those students remaining. “I’m glad to see you believe in yourself.” he said. “You all have ‘A’s.”

Actual Mpumalanga (South African) Hospital Register entries.

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

HospitalThe patient refused autopsy.

The patient has no previous history of suicides.

Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 Kg weight gain in the past three days.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

Healthy appearing, decrepit 69-year old male: mentally alert but forgetful.

Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She is numb from her toes down.

The skin was moist and dry.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

Skin: somewhat pale but present.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Bernie Mac

Saturday, August 9th, 2008

Bernie MacBernie Mac wanted to be like Bill Cosby: He wanted to make his mother laugh.

The actor-comedian, who told jokes on train platforms and plugged away for decades before coming into the spotlight on his own Fox sitcom, the Ocean’s movies and more, died today—one week after it was learned he’d been hospitalized with pneumonia.

He was 50.

A spokesman for the Cook County Medical Examiner’s office confirmed to E! News that Mac had been a patient at Chicago’s NorthwesternMemorial Hospital for “over a week,” and that he died this morning of “natural causes.”

Yesterday, Mac’s publicist, Danica Smith, responding to rumours that the star had fallen critically ill, said Mac was in stable condition, and was “responding well to treatment.”

Mac suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory disease that can affect any body organ, per the Mayo Clinic’s website, but that Mac revealed in 2005 had taken root in his lungs. According to Smith, the pneumonia that struck down the star was unrelated to the disease, which had reportedly been in remission.

Prior to falling ill, Mac had been typically booked—shooting a new proposed Fox comedy series, Starting Under, finishing off a new big-screen comedy with Samuel L. Jackson, Soul Men, due out in November, and even offering himself as vice-presidential material to Barack Obama.

Mac made the overture to Obama at a fund-raiser last month for the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee. As reported by the Chicago Tribune, Mac admitted to the audience that he wasn’t likely to get the VP job because, as he put it, “I cuss.”

While Mac did cuss, his comedy was, as is befitting a man married for more than 30 years, rooted in family.

From 2001 to 2006, Mac played the exasperated but thoroughly no-nonsense father figure on The Bernie Mac Show. Mac earned two Emmy acting nominations for playing a version of himself, or, maybe more accurately, of his stand-up act. The misadventures of a comedian charged with taking care of his sister’s young children was not unfamiliar to fans of the concert film The Original Kings of Comedy, which saw Mac riff on the same topic.

In the movies, Mac wasn’t quite as domestic, but, with the right material, he could be just as funny.

Mac was one of George Clooney’s invaluable heist men in 2001′s Ocean’s Eleven, and its two follow-ups, Ocean’s Twelve and Ocean’s Thirteen. He was the den mother to Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu in the 2003 Charlie’s Angels sequel, Full Throttle, taking over Bosley duties from Bill Murray. And he was on Billy Bob Thornton’s case in Bad Santa.

In 2004, he was the main man, at last, in the baseball comedy Mr. 3000.

A Chicago native born in 1957 as Bernard Jeffrey McCullough, a surname that naturally lent itself to the nickname “Mac,” the future star was a school-age kid when he saw his crying mother give in to laughter while watching Bill Cosby on The Ed Sullivan Show.

“That’s what I want to be, Mama. A comedian,” Mac wrote in his 2003 autobiography, Maybe You Never Cry Again. “Make you laugh like that, maybe you never cry again.”

Mac’s mother never lived to see her son make good on his promise, at least professionally—she died of cancer while he was in high school. Mac’s career in comedy started not long after. In 1977, while giving community college a go, the 19-year-old Mac started telling jokes on Chicago’s “L” train platforms. Sometimes, a fellow commuter would slip him a bill. He was on his way.

Starting with 1992′s Mo’ Money, Mac began getting bit parts in movies. A 1995 HBO special, Midnight Mac, validated his comedy credentials, while a supporting role in 1999′s Life, the prison comedy starring Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence, raised his profile.

Mac’s game-changing break came in 2000, with the release of the Spike Lee-directed The Original Kings of Comedy. The film documented a show featuring Mac, Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley and Cedric the Entertainer, veteran comics who had long toured as the “Kings of Comedy.” The movie enjoyed an unexpectedly strong opening weekend, and went onto become the second-biggest-grossing stand-up comedy film, after Eddie Murphy Raw.

Suddenly Mac, the only one of the four comics then without a prime-time vehicle, was a star.

“All of that was humble beginnings,” Mac said in the Chicago Tribune in 2002. “And I say that with motivation because I remember them without any shame, without any sorrow, without any pity. That’s what made me.”

Once it kicked into high gear, Mac’s career never slowed. While his new Fox series wasn’t picked up for the fall, Mac had lots more going on, including voice-over work as Ben Stiller’s lion father in Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa, due out in November.

“I always want to top myself. I want to get good,” Mac told Time magazine in 2003. “You just don’t know how much I want to get good. I want the audience to leave the theatre and say, ‘He did good.’”

Bernie Mac

How To enjoy Life In The Rain

Saturday, March 29th, 2008

Loving the RainIt was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80′s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognised him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are’?

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.’

I had to hold back tears as the left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, ‘That is the kind of love I want in my life.’

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

‘Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to enjoy it in the rain.’