Posts Tagged ‘money’

Would you like to sample some sunscreen?

Thursday, December 15th, 2011

People fight over it, they steal it, they’re envious of others with more of it, they pity those without it, they throw it in the air, they work their entire lives for it, and it has the amazing ability to disappear faster than a small chocolate cake at a fat kid’s birthday party. Money. The root of all evil, the devil’s secret weapon, worshipped by some and hated by others.

This very evil thing has forced me from my break in the working world and into a new job, promotions. I’ve done the Blockbusters video store thing, the work experience thing where you get paid nothing to do hard work, but I’ve never done promotions. I’ve waved them off in many a shop with a flick of the wrist and an increased pace but I’ve now become one of them.

Last week I crawled out of bed at the crack of dawn and trekked a great distance to a shopping centre in another town only to be rudely shown the door by the manager of the store. “I don’t want any promoters in the store today.” A where’s the manager game and a signature later my first promotions gig had gotten a false start.

Jump forward a week and I was at COP 17, the UN’s climate change talks, handing out brochures and carrying boxes for the department of environmental affairs. Getting to experience walking through my own city, something I’ve never really done as a white South African, looking around the exhibits and working with some chilled people where just some highlights. I could get used to these kind of jobs.

The next day I was back in another town, in a small store, peddling samples of sunscreen and educating those who cared to listen on the UVAs and UVBs that were killing them. I began to get annoyed by the sound of my own voice as I offered sample after sample to innocent shoppers for the four hour stint. We proudly sold quite a few bottles and wrapped up with a swift signature by the store’s manager.

Although not the ideal job, I’m not one who enjoys promoting products I don’t really care about or use, it’s perfect for the extra year I’ll now have as a student. Damn you honours, damn you.

Churches – Blah

Thursday, March 17th, 2011

Churches. Blah. The mere mention of the word brings bad thoughts to millions of people around the world. Those places that take all your money and buy the head pastors fancy BMWs, the place full off hypocrites? Let’s talk about them.

 

I’ve been to many churches in my short life, either attending them regularly or visiting them, and regardless of their motto or their amazing ideas (Grace message anyone? Jesus’ entire life was to give us grace. This is no revelation. It should be the foundation of everything we talk about) they all have at least one major flaw, people.

 

Churches are run like businesses, and they’re proud of it

 

This isn’t a business you prune, this is God’s house. Wake up. You’re spending money on fancy lights, cameras, computers, banners, flyers, and websites when people are starving. Spend the money on feeding the poor, building homes, and blessing people who are struggling.

 

Now before you get defensive and say we have to reach people, think about this. If the church was the place it should be. Where people are being healed, where you could walk in and feel the presence of God and praise God in whatever way you wanted, where people weren’t judging each other and everybody was filled with pure joy, don’t you think people would talk? You wouldn’t need one shred of advertising. People would do it for you. They’d run home and Facebook their friends, tweet their followers and phone their grandparents. People would come. I guarantee it. Before you know it, the government would be on your side because you’re helping them by just doing what God told you to do. Love people, and help those in need.

 

Now, here’s where things get a little confusing. Having those fancy things can actually be a blessing. Do you have an amazing worship team, that are actually amazing musicians but they use their talents to praise God? If you have the money, why not make a CD? Now you can sell it and have more money to spend on helping people. Not on buying more fancy things, or going to some conference.

 

Don’t waste money on ridiculously fancy cameras to supersize your pastor’s funny face so people in the back can see him sweat. Use the cameras to create videos that get people thinking and talking about God, and again you can sell them to make money to give more to people in need. The more the church gives, the more it will grow. This is biblical stuff people, not just nice ideas.

 

Churches need to stop wasting money on fancy equipment they don’t use properly and start using it on helping people. Why not give this week’s offering to the Red Cross to help Japan? Oooo, no! There’s a budget in place, this is a business. Rubbish. This is God’s church. Give and God will provide.

 

Stop judging people

 

There are some crazy church people running around telling gay people God hates them. What absolute nonsense. God hates SIN, NOT the people sinning. If gay people should be accepted anywhere it should be in the church. Don’t judge their sin. It’s between them and God. God wants to love people, that love will open people’s eyes and they won’t want to sin. Picketing and hating people will never solve anything. Welcome them into the church. Witches, crazy people, beggars, murderers, they should all be welcome in the church. Let them see God’s love, let them feel it, and let them choose it for themselves.

 

Poor church, rich pastor

Now for something that kills many people. Rich pastors, the ones that are living in luxury when people suffer. Now having a rich pastor isn’t actually a bad thing. People in the church should be rich, because they have God’s blessing over their lives. But, if the church isn’t doing what they’re supposed to be doing, if they aren’t giving with reckless abandonment and reaching the needy and helping people build strong relationships with God, then we have a problem. And when people notice, I don’t think the church is doing its job.

 

If the church could just do these things, the things it’s supposed to do, the things close to God’s heart: loving his people, blessing his people, reaching out to his people. The things we get in the way of. It would be radical. We could change the world.

 

A side note of caution

 

Just because we do these things, it doesn’t mean God can’t use us. God can use anything for his glory, and he does. If he didn’t, we wouldn’t have one growing church. Isn’t that the beauty of God? Despite our flawed understanding of him, he blesses what we do regardless, because he loves us.

 

Disagree? Have something to add? That’s what the comments are for. I love how Rob Bell put it, “God has spoken and the rest is commentary.” I may be right, I may be wrong, I may be both. We’re all in this journey learning more about our amazing creator, and teaching each other. I want to hear your thoughts. Go.

 

Classy things to say when stressed

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Stressed“Well this day was a total waste of make-up”

“Well, aren’t we a ray of sunshine?”

“Don’t bother me; I’m living happily ever after.”

“I started out with nothing still have most of it left”

“I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me”

“YOU!!… off my planet!!!”

“Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose”

“Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of Self-control”

“Errors have been made. Others will be blamed”

“I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.”

“Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.”

“Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed”

“Do they ever shut up on your planet?”

“Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet”

“Back off!! You’re standing in my aura.”

“Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.”

“I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.”

“Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it.”

“Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.”

“Wait…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality”

“Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done.”

“Earth is full. Go home.”

“Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?”

“I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.”

“You are depriving some village of an idiot.”

Drinking with van der Merwe’s daughter

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Illegal AliensA Zimbabwean, a Nigerian, and van der Merwe’s daughter are in the same bar.

When the Zimbabwean finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Zimbabwe, our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice.’
The Nigerian, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Nigeria, we have so much stolen money to make glasses that we don’t need to drink with the same one twice either.’

Van der Merwe’s daughter, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Zimbabwean and the Nigerian. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, ‘In South Africa we have so many illegal aliens that we don’t have to drink with the same ones twice.’

Wake up media

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

Media MonkeysIs it just me or is the news getting boring. Because of the articles we create on Srizzil I try to keep up to date with what is going on around the world and in our home country, South Africa. But with all the amazing technology and millions of sites updated every couple of seconds the news seems to be getting really stale.

There is always someone famous going rouge, adopting orphans, or splurging their millions on something completely ridiculous. There are always corrupt and lying politicians, weird people having too many babies or strange weather patterns accruing all over the world. There’s always a war to be stopped and one getting started, another big company picking on the little guy and some new gadget that nobody needs but everybody wants. It’s old, it’s boring and it’s sad.

I don’t know about you but I’m tired of hearing about these things. They aren’t interesting anymore, they aren’t innovative or award worthy. Today news outlets make up stories to sell papers to the extent of ruining people’s lives for something they never did. It’s about hype and telling everyone that the guy they thought was great isn’t actually great at all. It’s about trying to prove genuine people have something to hide at all costs, driving the person to the point of insanity. Why? For money, fame or do these people get a kick out of seeing other people down?

It’s time the media started reporting on things that are newsworthy, things that are different. How about telling us what’s happening with cancer research. Not just that they may be one step closer to a cure but what do we know and what don’t we know. What can we as citizens do to help? What about discussing the real issue behind gay rights? It’s not whether or not they deserve rights as gays, it’s about weather society actually agrees that being gay is as normal as the media makes out. We won’t get into it all here but the fact is society is not ready to accept gay behaviour because they haven’t lost their sense of right and wrong completely yet.

Let’s be controversial but for the right reasons. Let’s do it to stir up discussion, to make change, to be a positive influence on other people and not be a group of whiners. Let’s get over the fact that people are racist and look at why they are racist. How do we change people’s perceptions of each other to the extent that colour is no longer an issue? Fighting over who is racist and who isn’t or who’s better off than who won’t solve a thing.

Wake up media. It’s time for a refresh.